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| An anonymous calypsonian...is to the tent what Cinderella was to the house...her Stepsisters held shares |
The Big Yard...
Here is where shareholderism is at its peak...selection to do battle in this Big Yard can be guaranteed to a shareholder even in a year when his material is ordinary at best...crowd response plays a bag...biggie...big role here-i almost said something true-here. With highly shareholderised shareholders the mere mention of the name is enough to illicit similar, crowd response of a hard working, crowd pleasing no name performer. Having reached the final with substandard calypsos...the shareholder makes up for his scarcity, often with camouflage tactics which may come across as impressive-or desperate-such as introducing a new song-which will never be seen or heard beyond that performance...lyrics probably being forgotten by the performer themselves during or before the presentation ceremony - that will give the judges an excuse for giving said shareholder an often undeserved high position-even a crown-that would not have been possible if they had performed the two songs which brought them there, which were publicly acknowledged not to be strong enough to give them a serious chance at landing a place in the...
Top Four...
This is often the domain of the most shareholderlific shareholder calypsonians with fourth being the default position of a defending monarch who does not place second. A defending monarch placing lower down the order was clearly not significantly shareholderified and can have their reign called into question or be deemed as lucky that a specific shareholder was absent when they won...on the contrary they may actually have simply been/had the best on that particular occasion despite there lack of shareholderocity. A single calypso crown is a clear sign of lack of shareholderishness.
The top four is often reserved for the;
- Shareholders who failed to impress in their performance but their shareholderocity disallows them placing fifth or below in any competition...
- Shareholders who have less shareholderocity than other shareholders in said competition...
- Calypsonians who were actually good enough for the win but due to their lack of having experienced shareholderfication will not be given their due or...
- A young and or female calypsonian performing well and being given token representation to appease the 'unfair because dem is a woman /dem is a youngster' comment from the audience they impressed... or simlarly a young and or female competitor who was actually good enough to win the crown but failed to do so due to a lack of shareholderishness or the presence of highly shareholderified shareholders who it would be unfathomable for them to defeat...
- The in your face, too controversial, straight talking, often authentic calypso spouting calypsonian's calypsonian, who despite consistency often unmatched by shareholders, will never win the crown as a result of their political incorrectness and inability to call a spade a shovel...deemed as a public relations risk not fit for national representation as a result and therefore never considered for shareholderisation despite their undeniable talent of composing and rendering authentic calypso
The Crown...
Finally the most sharholderified shareholder can win the crown in inexplicable circumstances such as;
- Forgetting/mumbling/repeating lyrics or entire verses.
- Returning after a multiyear absence from competition-which is good for ticket sales.
- Being given the chance to perform their song for a second time after some unexpected often fortuitous technical glitch/Abandonment of a competition they could not win.
- Gaining a quarter of a point or less over their opponent who erstwhile had clearly won the competition.
- Performing a song pundits deemed to be a genre other than calypso.
- Performing a soca made popular often by winning a previous competition that same year.
- Performing calypsos deemed to be unoriginal or too familiar with respect to melody-warmed over from the year before and the one before that etc.-or unoriginal lyrics borrowed from other songs more akin to karaoke than calypso performance
- Having earned a knickname which instantly gives you maximum points in the highest scoring criteria...
If uh sweet uh sweet!
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